Rumblegut

Review copies are the coolest thing in the world. I just got a big box of my new book, Roll Up the Streets! dropped on my front porch. Inside were these glorious brand-spanking new books with shiny covers and filled with words that I had written. Now all those people who thought I'd made up those stories about getting published can see the actual proof. A real hardcover book is so much cooler than a flickering image on a screen. I just love the corndogs and the swirling ketchup and mustard on the cover. My favorite image is this one from the back cover. You'll have to read the book to find out who the lovely, and for some reason annoyed looking woman is. Now to get it into other people's hands.

It's almost here! My new middle-grade humor novel, Roll Up the Streets! is nearly here. Barnes & Noble has finally put up the cover art so you can see what it looks like. I'm pretty excited. Corndogs will do that to you, especially if they're EVIL corndogs. It's a fun story about a sarcastic 12-year-old, (is there any other kind?) Jake Machet, who moves to a small town that smells like the inside of his shoe, and I think we all know what a 12-year-old boy's shoes smell like. The only problem is that he's the only person who can smell it. Well, that's not the only problem, there are the greasy, plastic tasting corndogs everyone eats all the time, and the gooey streets and some kind of conspiracy to take over the world. But other than that things are just peachy for our hero Jake and his only friend Sammie, a smart-alecky girl with a history of pig-poop busting. Did I mention that it's funny too? Pick up a copy for your sarcastic 12-year-old.

You may have heard about the upcoming April 3, release of Apple's new Ipad, the world's most expensive feminine hygiene product. But in case you haven't been keeping up with the computer company and seller of the iPhone's attempts to recreate the very nature of reading and writing, here's the most recent news from Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple. (AP) April 1, San Francisco: Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs announced today in advance of the release of the company's newest gadget, the iPad, that "henceforth, publishing and writing will be a totally different experience, an experience completely controlled by yours truly." The publishing industry has been rampant with rumors over the past year in expectation of the impact of the iPad on their business models, and today they were given the word from Jobs. "Publishing as we know it is dead," Jobs intoned. "The dinosaurs of the business have just been hit with a comet called the iPad and the i...

For aspiring authors the question of how an author sold his/her first book is always of great interest. They're looking to do the same thing, so of course they'd like to get the ins and outs from someone who has been there. At all the writing conferences I've attended, this question is tops when the panels convene to answer queries from the audience. Writers working diligently to get their creative genius down on paper aren't always the best at selling, so any tips can help. There are lots of blogs out there giving advice, most of it useful to a certain extent. But one can only be told to spell correctly and use proper grammar so many times. Another popular tip is telling people to "develop a unique voice." But again, that's not much in the way of advice, everyone knows that already. And no one I've yet heard has ever been able to define a "unique voice," let alone explain how you develop one. So in the end that particular piece of advice i...

I had an idea for a picture book this morning while putting on my sock. Actually I was checking my email on my IPOD while putting on my sock, but something I saw there gave me a story idea. I shoved the IPOD in my pocket, ran for a pad of paper with one shoe on, and started scribbling my thoughts down before they turned to breakfast. Oatmeal can ruin any idea. Halfway through my frantic scratching there was a knock on the door. Someone wanted to trim my shrubs. But rather than interrupt my thoughts, and say that I don't want my shrubs trimmed no matter what they look like, I dashed into the basement with my pad and pen and finished writing while sitting next to the washer and dryer. (My shrubs really need trimming). Once I had my idea down on paper it was safe to eat. I now had time to get out the laptop and commit my masterpiece to digital form. This of course leads to today's question. What do you do when you have an idea for a story? Do you write it down immediatel...

So you're a writer? I get that question a lot. People are often interested in the answer, even if they don't like to read that much. And when I say I'm a children's author, they like it even more, because even if they don't read their kids are darn sure going to if they know what's good for them. It's much more fun to tell people that you're a writer than say, a gas station attendant or a shoe salesmen. The trick comes with the follow up question. Where can I get your books? Well, if you're like most of the writers I personally know, the answer is, "I'm still working on getting an agent or an editor." That usually ends the conversation. But if you are in that situation, don't fret. You will sell your work one of these days. An agent or editor is going to recognize all the effort and skill you've put into that manuscript and they will get it on the shelf, or into a Kindle. Your day will come. I know this because an agen...

This is it, my first blog post. And the question you're all asking is, why? Is it because I want to be famous? Blogs don't make you famous. Is it because I've gotten too big for my britches? Possibly. Is it because I like spending so much time with my computer? Hardy-har-har. No, it's really because I want to share my writing with as many people as possible, and to pass out free advice on writing, getting an agent, getting published, junk like that. I'm a sharer.